Are You Grading Yourself by Your Children’s Lives?
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RSS Feed What if your child’s success has quietly become your success, and their struggles feel like your failures?
For many mothers, that connection can be hard to see, especially after our children become adults. We know we can't control their choices, yet we still worry, advise, fix, compare, and sometimes lie awake at 2 a.m. wondering if we somehow got it wrong.
That is exactly where today’s conversation with Gigi Baxter begins.
Gigi spent thirty years quietly grading herself as a mother. When one of her three children was thriving, she gave herself an A. When one struggled, that grade dropped. Eventually, she realized she had confused motherhood with her own identity and was carrying emotional problems that were never hers to carry.
That realization became her book, Your Children Are NOT Your Report Card: How to Love Your Adult Children Without Losing Yourself.
In this episode, Gigi and I talk about the invisible report card so many mothers carry, grieving the imaginary versions of our children, and recognizing the difference between loving support and trying to fix or control their lives.
We also talk about the "emotional suitcases" we carry for our adult children, the Parenting Olympics, Gigi's "Board Seat, Not CEO" approach, and her simple "Mute & Pause" practice for those moments when our instinct is to jump in.
If you've ever wondered whether you're carrying something that belongs to your adult child, or if you've ever questioned where your identity ends and motherhood begins, this conversation is for you.
Because loving our children deeply doesn't mean we have to carry their lives for them.
Sometimes, putting down the report card is where we finally begin coming home to ourselves.
Connect with Gigi:
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